Easier To Run
by Tovaras
Summary: Songfic. A tribute too the best band in the whole God damned world, Linkin Park (feel free to disagree with me, but this is my opinion. Remember that)! Don't know about you guys, but I think that Linkin Park's lyrics really fits Duo's character. Or


Easier To Run  
  
Author: Dragongirl85  
  
E-mail: Golddragon85@hotmail.com  
  
Parings: 1x2, 3x4  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Sorry to say it, but I don't… If I did, Relena would be killed a long time ago and the Gundam Boys would be extremely happy (not because Relena was dead. Well, Heero would…) I'm making no money for writing this. Don't sue, you won't get much anyway, unless you want a cranky, old cat, a fucked up cell-phone and a really, really, REALLY old and crappy computer.  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Notes: Songfic. A tribute too the best band in the whole God damned world, Linkin Park (feel free to disagree with me, but this is my opinion. Remember that)! Don't know about you guys, but I think that Linkin Park's lyrics really fits Duo's character. Or maybe it's just me……… Oh, well. Enjoy!:) Oh, and thanks to the wonderful princess2000204, my beta! Thanks girl! I own you alot. She's been taking care of New Home Home since chapter 4.:)  
  
Warning: FLUFF!!!   
  
Archive: Sure, but please ask first.:)  
  
***  
  
//It's easier to run  
  
Replacing this pain with something numb   
  
It's so much easier to go   
  
Than face all this pain here all alone//   
  
"Wohoo! Yeah, baby, show me what you're made off!"   
  
Duo clasped his hand around the joystick and made Deathscythe Hell swing the double-edged thermal scythe towards the OZ mobile suits. Heero watched the monitor in his own Wing Zero as his braided friend went berserk. Opening a window to Duo's cockpit, he watched the Americans face.   
  
"No need to cut them all down, Duo. Take the one that matters and head for the base. I will distract them."   
  
"Wha-A-at?" Duo turned his face towards the window and pouted towards his partner, pretending to be hurt. "So you can have fun with these mobile suits all by yourself? That's not fair."   
  
Heero glared, but on the inside he was amused. Duo always made the missions a little easier, relaxed. But he knew that deep down he hurt just as much as the others, if not more.   
  
"Okay. I'm cutting my way through in a sec. Wish me luck, Hee-chan." Duo smirked and Heero had to suppress the laugh. Slipping into his own mask, the ever more than present stoic face, he glared once more.   
  
"Just go, Baka." Duo smirked once more and shut the window down. Looking at the now empty monitor, Heero whispered; "Good luck, Duo-san. Be careful."   
  
//Something has been taken   
  
From deep inside of me   
  
A secret I've kept locked away   
  
No one can ever see//   
  
After a rather difficult and tiring mission, five Gundam mobile suits landed in a hangar at one of the Winner residences. First one to get out of his mobile suit was the owner of the house, Quatre Raberba Winner. The little blonde looked up at Sandrock and smiled.   
  
"Thank you, my dearest Sandrock. Thanks to our efforts, there will be one less OZ mobile suit factory out in space."   
  
Stepping out of his own mobile suit, a tall and skinny teen headed for his Arabian koi. Wrapping his hand around the blondes waist, he pulled the small teen close to him. Quatre wrapped is own arms around the taller teens shoulder and gently started crying. Trowa brushed his hand through Quatre's hair and kissed his head.   
  
"Oh, Trowa. When will it stop? I'm so tired of hurting people. Tired of killing."   
  
Knowing that the little blonde already knew the answer, he scooped the little teen up in his arms and headed out of the hangar. Heero watched them as he pretended to scan over his Wing Zero. Trowa would carry the little blonde inside and place him on the sofa. He would then make them a cup of tea before settling himself beside Quatre. Quatre would wrap his arm around Trowa's chest and cry, while Trowa comforted, crying silent and invisible tears. It was their way of cooperating with the days. Their way of handling the massacre, they experienced. Everybody had their own way to handle the burden on their shoulder. He himself would sit down on the couch with his laptop, writing a report to Professor J. Wufei would thank Nataku for the strength his suit had lend him before retreating into the library. What he did there, no one knew. And Duo-   
  
The named pilot jumped out of his Deathscythe Hell and started walking towards the house.   
  
Any minute now.   
  
With a loud scream, Duo fell onto his knees, wrapping his arms around himself.   
  
//Wound so deep they never show   
  
They never go away   
  
Like moving pictures in my head   
  
For years and years they've played//   
  
Why? It wasn't fair! It wasn't fucking fair! Breaking his own saying, Duo started to sob heavily. Releasing himself from his own embrace, he dug his fingers into the ground before bringing them up to his face. He couldn't cope with this! He was still a child!   
  
"I'm still a fucking child!" Duo screamed, his voice echoing in the believed empty hangar. No answer. The five giant Gundams remained silent, not that Duo was expecting an answer.   
  
"Why," he whispered and his body stared trembling. Raising himself onto two shaky legs, Duo walked slowly towards the house. He needed someone to lean on. He wasn't strong enough to handle this all by himself. Quatre had Trowa, Wufei found his strength in Nataku and the memory of his dead wife Meilan, not to mention Sally. Heero got his strength from Relena. Only Duo was alone. Hilde couldn't help him caring this weight; he didn't want to trouble her with that. And the memories of Solo, Sister Helen and Father   
  
Maxwell only took away his strength.   
  
'Funny,' he thought. 'There was once a time when they gave me strength, instead of taking it. I must be tired of living…'   
  
Dragging his tired body into the house, he failed to see the gaze of his fellow dark haired pilot and partner. Heero watches as the braided pilot dragged himself on shaky legs, out of the hangar. He wanted so much to say something, wanted so much to wrap his arms around Duo's body, letting him know that he was there for him, just as Duo was there for him. But he couldn't. He just…couldn't.   
  
//If I could change I would   
  
Take back the pain I would   
  
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would   
  
If I could Stand up and take the blame I would   
  
If I could take all the shame to grave I would//   
  
//If I could change I would   
  
Take back the pain I would   
  
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would   
  
If I could Stand up and take the blame I would   
  
I would take all my shame to grave//   
  
Rinsing of his body in the shower, Duo scrubbed every inch of his body. Every place several times before turning his attention to his hair. Running his hands trough the thick mass of hair, he tried to forget the day. That was his daily routine. Go on mission, be goof-ball and make the others relax, worry sick and cry on the inside, go back, wait until everybody has left the hangar, then scream then he would rinse his body in boiling hot water to get the smell of death away.   
  
Dropping to his knees, he let the warm water pour down his face. Trailing a finger over old scars on his hand, he started memorizing. It would be so easy to just take a razor and cut his writs, ending his misery, help him forget. But he couldn't do it. He was still needed as a pilot; his fellow pilots depended on his stealth and merry mood. So for now he would settle with his daily routine. But after the war…It would be so easy to just end it all.   
  
  
  
//It's easier to run   
  
Replacing this pain with something numb   
  
It's so much easier to go   
  
Than face all this pain here all alone//   
  
Drying himself of, he slipped on a pair of black boxers and headed for the room he and Heero shared. The house was plenty big enough for all the pilots to have a room of their own, but Duo had asked Heero if he could share a room with him. When the stoic pilot asked why, he replied that he liked the small talks he and Heero had when they shared dorms. It wasn't long from the truth so technically, Duo hadn't lied. He did like the small talks, but the main reason was that he didn't want to sleep alone. He wanted to have another pilot in the same room, to know that he wasn't alone. Since Quatre already shared a room with Trowa and Wufei wanted his privacy, Heero was the choice. Not that he minded. He preferred to a share room with him, 'cause then he could borrow some of his strength, even though the perfect soldier didn't know that he did so. Taking off his golden cross, he kissed it and placed it on the dresser. The he let himself fall onto his bed, ready to proceed to the next step of his daily routine. Grabbing his pillow, he hugged it tight into his body and cried silently so he wouldn't disturb anybody. He didn't want them to worry. Not long after, Duo fell asleep, his cheeks and pillow wet from his tears. Soon it would dry and his roommate would never know what he had done all by himself.   
  
//Sometimes I remember   
  
The darkness of my past   
  
Bringing back these memories   
  
I wish I didn't have//   
  
Finishing the last of the report, he e-mailed it and closed his laptop. Still, the picture of the black clothed body, trembling and with arms wrapped around itself, haunted his head. He still wanted to go to the braided pilot and comfort him. When he entered the room they shared later, he would find Duo with arms wrapped around a pillow and with his eyes red and swollen. His cheeks would still be damp from salty tears.   
  
Getting up, Heero thought about his beloved friend. Duo had been there so many times for him, and even though all the friendliness and interest in the stoic pilot seemed unappreciated, Heero did enjoy the braided ones company. He just couldn't say it. A part of his training was not to show emotions, a task he handled pretty well. To well. Thanks to that, he couldn't show the same friendliness back, he couldn't wrap his arms around Duo and hold him. He couldn't let Duo know that he was there for him.   
  
Cursing, he silently opened the door to their room and looked around. There on the bed, lied the still half-naked Duo with a pillow pulled tightly to his chest. As Heero leaned over to look at his face, he found the usual tracks of tears. Gently rubbing his hand over Duo's cheek, he felt the small remains of tears. Oh, how he wanted to just kiss the tears away. He didn't want the braided pilot to cry. He wanted him to be happy. If only he could tell him that.   
  
//Sometimes I think of letting go   
  
And never looking back   
  
And never moving forward so   
  
There would never be a past//   
  
It was the middle of the night and the perfect soldier couldn't sleep. All he did was think about Duo. Staring at the form, now covered with a quilt, he couldn't help himself. He though Duo looked so small and helpless. But he wasn't. He was strong, both physically and mentally. But covering your emotions is dangerous, even for the strongest, and the braided pilot has finally cracked. He wasn't the first. Heero was surprised that Duo hadn't cracked earlier. He didn't doubt his friend's strength, but Duo had been through more than the others had. He had lost more than his share. His hands had been stained with bloodin a too early age.   
  
Hearing the rustle from the other bed, Heero turned to look at the other pilot. Duo had shifted and now lied on his back. Heero was just about to turn so he could sleep, when the moon light caught something that made Heero's heart break.   
  
A small tear found its way from Duo's eye and gently trailed down his cheek before disappearing into the soft fabric of the pillow. He couldn't take this anymore. Heero just couldn't take it anymore. For too long he had longed for the warmth of another body against his own. For too long he had longed to share his pain and worries with someone else. For too long he had wanted to carry Duo's burden, and let Duo help him carry his. It was time for some changes. It was time to open up. It was time…To let the braided baka know that he loved him.   
  
//If I could change I would   
  
Take back the pain I would   
  
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would   
  
If I could Stand up and take the blame I would   
  
If I could take all the shame to grave I would//   
  
  
  
//If I could change I would   
  
Take back the pain I would   
  
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would   
  
If I could Stand up and take the blame I would   
  
I would take all my shame to grave//   
  
Nightmares usually haunted the braided American at night, but it didn't make him less scared and alone when he finally awoke. Every time he did so, he would look over to the stoic pilot and sigh. How he longed to have those arms wrapped around his body, to have small words of comfort whispered into his ear. To have the warmth of another body against his own. But this time, he never got the chance to wake up with a gasp. He felt a gentle hand on his shoulder gently shaking, waking him up.   
  
"Hn…What?" Heero released the others shoulder and gave the sleepy teen a chance to sit up.   
  
"Duo…Can I sit down?"   
  
Nodding, Duo rubbed his eyes, still caught in the gentle abyss of sleep. As much as he wanted to go sleep, he was grateful that Heero had ripped him out of the nightmares before they became too much to handle. Smiling, he moved over so that Heero could lean against the bed frame with him.   
  
"Got something on your mind, buddy?"   
  
"I was going to ask you the same thing, Duo."  
  
"Eh?" Heero looked at him while he pulled his knees up too his chin.   
  
"Duo… I know you're crying at night. Why?" Duo laughed, but on the inside, his heart was aching.   
  
"Whad'ya talking about, buddy? Big boys don't cry." Heero gently smiled and trailed his finger the same way the tear had gone.   
  
"No…But its okay for little boys too cry." Duo pulled back, a nervous smile placed where his usual grin used to be.   
  
"I-I don't know what you… I don't-" Heero just smiled. A smile that warmed Duo on the inside. Maybe… Just maybe…   
  
//Just washing it aside   
  
All of the helplessness inside   
  
Pretending I don't feel misplaced   
  
Is so much simpler than change//   
  
"Duo… I know I haven't always been there for you, as you have been there for me… But I want to change that now. Let me be there for you. Let me help you carry some of your burden. After all, we're both still children… It's okay for us to cry, 'cause… We're both alone and scared…" Opening his arms, Heero offered his embrace to the other pilot. And   
  
Duo accepted.  
  
Throwing himself into Heero's arms, he wrapped his own around Heero's neck and sobbed into his shoulder. Wrapping his hand around the smaller teen's waist, Heero pulled Duo close, stroking his hand over Duo's head, comforting him.   
  
"S'okay, Duo. Let me help you carry your pain… Let me be there for you…"   
  
Eyes swollen from the fresh tears that now trailed down his now damp cheeks, Duo lifted his head and stared at the Japanese pilot in the eyes. Cobalt clashing with Prussian. Heads started to move closer until breathes were mingling, then lips met lips for the first time. Pulling back, Heero dried away some of the tears that stared to form in Duo's eyes.   
  
"Let me help you carry the pain, just as you have helped me carry mine some many times before."   
  
Duo smiled and buried his face in Heero's neck, enjoying the warmth from his body. "Hai… Help me carry on, Hee-chan. Give me strength, so I can give twice amount back at ya."   
  
Squeezing the other tight to his body, Heero rested his chin on Duo's head. "That won't be necessary. You've already giving me all the strength I need to carry on."   
  
Sealing their mouths again, lips met in a much bolder and caring kiss, both boys pouring every bit of love and care that they had for the other into the kiss. Lying down on Duo's bed, Duo snuggled closer to Heero's body, resting his head on Heero's chest. Heero wrapped his arm around Duo's waist, never wanting to let go.   
  
"You are not alone anymore."   
  
//It's easier to run   
  
Replacing this pain with something numb   
  
It's so much easier to go   
  
Than face all this pain here all alone   
  
It's easier to run   
  
If I could change I would   
  
Take back the pain I would   
  
Retrace every wrong move that I made   
  
It's easier to run   
  
  
  
If I could change I would   
  
Take back the pain I would   
  
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would   
  
If I could Stand up and take the blame I would   
  
I would take all my shame to grave//   
  
***  
  
Author's Notes: Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! I'm done! I'm done! *dancing around the room* I'm actually quite proud of this little baby. But what do YOU think? Good, awful, stinking, fantastic? Did I ruin the boys completely? Please tell me what the lot of you thought about it. Need feedback, I live for feedback. Remember to review. *points at the review button* Thankee! 


End file.
